Silent Angry Black Woman

I’ve been “making it” through life.
Avoiding my truths,
Avoiding my pains,
Avoiding my honest feelings that have been harboured in my heart.
One hurt after another,
I brush it off and “keep it movin” just to make it through the day.
All because I refuse to let a man see my pain.
Looking at the next, unimpressed.
Mentally labeling him as weak.
All because of what the last one piqued.
‘Seriously, what the hell can you do for me?’ is what I think, with my smile showing.

I still want him to find me appealing.
But deep down, my anger is growing.
I figured if I pretend long enough,
maybe it will all go away.
But this hurt is here to stay.
I’m disappointed by this mess that I’ve allowed to erupt inside of me.
But that’s not what I let you see.
This anger has been locked in deep.
Never allowing it over power me.
But as I stand here today,
Im crying to God, I’m ready to let it all go. Because “getting through life” is just not working for me anymore.

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